I see my friends trapped between their parents and their children, «my family comes first,» they tell me, women who always get in the queue of family priorities and by the time it’s their turn,  perhaps the moment to be able to fulfill that desire it had already dissapeared.

We have been called the «Sandwich generation» because we are in between our parents and our children, but I think that we are better defined by the «Scrambled generation«, yes, because we move in a magma of desires and obligations with our elders and our children, because in between, it becomes difficult to even see or guess if we are part of the succulent dish of life whose main ingredient is us, the pair of eggs, while others simply give a touch of flavor and fantasy, the tuna fish of the dish.

Since we were girls we were taught to prioritize others ahead of our desires and even needs and this has been an important part of our education. The intention was good: to avoid that over time we become selfish beings or worse, narcissistic, fully focused or even worse locked in ourselves without having any concern for others or family, or social, or altruistic. The bad thing is that we were not told how far, how much, how much is enough, when it will be our time …

We are a little bit in stand by: we will do it … when our children grow up, when our parents are no longer there, when our partner comes well … by the time we want to realize, they have eaten the scrambled eggs and we have not even tasted it.

My tip for this week is that it would be a good idea to establish turns in the line: first my children, second my partner, third my parents and fourth yo. I know it is not as ideal as the «America First» or its equivalent «Me First» but it is more feasible and real and at least every 4 times we would get a turn: «Me Fourth», it does not look so good in a campaign of marketing but it is much more viable.

So much strength has the education we have received that when it would be our turn to choose and do something, we usually take all or part of the family with us, we lose our individuality, even some feel guilt or remorse if we enjoy alone, without being next to the beings we love so much. We get to convince that what makes us happy is to see those we love happy, as if we did not count, it’s like a mantra that we repeat and we end up believing, so by the time it’s our fourth turn it tends to diluted with a combination of some or all the others with ours.

Only respecting at least that fourth turn, just respecting us and taking our space of freedom and enjoyment, we will feel balanced and happy. The only way I think we can be happy with others is when we are «Happy first», this is or it should be the turning point of our decisions. Only when we put ourselves at least in fourth place, when we give ourselves time, is it when we feel good, without tension, we recover and even come back with more energy to share and enjoy the relationships with those we love so much.

To convince those who always stay in line waiting fo, this seems to me a good argument:

«Only if you are well first can you be good with others»

so I’m not asking you to give up your education just to put yourself in the line of turns, take one and respect it.

I think it would also be important for us to review this exhausting education that postpone our needs to those of others and take care to teach our daughters that they should be first in her line. They are still in time, before breaking the next egg, of stopping to reflect if what they really want is another scramble, or, on the other hand, a couple of hard-boiled eggs.

And hopefully they will transform this «Scrambled eggs generation» that we are in the «Revolt generation«, the women’s revolt that will consist in prioritizing and love them first.